-Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner (via psych-facts)
all my life i’ve been pretty average. i have the average looks, the average grades, the average family (according to sg’s statistics on marriage divorced parents are pretty average), the not so average height but it doesn’t really matter, the less than (but still kinda average) fashion sense and makeup capabilities, the average socialising skills, and perhaps the most average of thoughts. i am not the most intricate being out there and i am THE most boring person i have ever known. i’m not exactly the most interesting person to have a conversation with. heck, i might even have a brain fart and word vomit all over whatever traces of EQ i have left. so here’s the problem - because of my averageness, when a guy, a great guy comes along, i get all fuzzy and flustered that i start chanting “i must have done smtg right in my rather average life to have deserve someone like this”. blurred by this belief that a man is a god given gift for me, i am not capable of seeing further than this, of what the future might entail for me and my single self, and that’s my problem. am i not capable of handling loneliness? it isnt the physical distance i cant handle but the constant pressure of having to have someone think of me so that i am not lonely in this world, to have someone constantly think of you and think for you. never knew i was so emotionally dependent but i think i’m doing alright. havent had a mental breakdown or get myself admitted to the madhouse thus far! being an average person probably mean i have average tastes and while it doesn’t take a lot for me to like someone but to have it reciprocated just by being on the same brain wavelength without words being said means a deal. i will continue being contented with my average life and be my average self. x
I am so sad tonight I don’t even know why.
My posts pretty much sums up how I feel after reading your text.